Tuesday, 25 June 2019

More Catholic Punk DIY!

 So I had this vintage suede, denim, and wool jacket I had made a felt heart for from many years ago, and suddenly today, I saw an opportunity for another Catholic punk DIY idea with it.

Having seen sequined Our Lady of Guadalupe patches from Mexico for sale in 'Courage My Love' in the Kensington Market area, I went back and bought one today, plus a little metal sword at a neighbouring cocktail store.  I got home and broke out the sewing supplies, hand sewing the sequined patch to the back of the jacket.  Then, I stabbed the felt heart with the metal sword, and anchored it in place with stitches at the hilt.  I also had some leftover beading from the rosary I took apart for the shoes, so I attached the long of the crucifix portion of the beads to the zipper, and then wrapped the remainder of the beads around the heart, also anchoring them in place.  I also took a little cross I had purchased in a church in Sedona, Arizona, and hung it from the rosary beads on the heart.

This kind of has a Vivienne Westwood punk flavour to it now... she's a designer I have admired since I have known about her.  I may continue to add to this project as I find other things, but even if I don't, I quite like how this turned out.  I'm just a tad nervous about impaling people with that metal sword, so I probably shouldn't hug anyone in this thing!

-Saraƒin

UPDATE: I adjusted the sword so it's not dangerous anymore - the point doesn't stick out now.  That could've been bad!  xD

Monday, 24 June 2019

Pride 2019 rundown!

Me, beside my favourite minister, Rev. John Joseph Mastandrea, at Pride 2019
Wow - the 2019 Toronto Pride parade was a hit!  The United Church section outdid the Anglican section in presentation, and even out-gayed the MCC!  I dressed as latex clad Sister Penance and helped lead the UCC section down Yonge St, as revellers cheered for a church that strongly supports LGBTQ+ people, and others not commonly accepted by religious organizations.  It was hot, but not so hot that the latex was truly unbearable, though I did start to get slightly itchy.  I waved my asexuality flag and saw a couple of other aces here and there in the crowds.  We aces don't seem to come out in droves the way that, say, bisexuals do.

I had asked my friend, the minister pictured here, if it was okay to march in this latex habit - he laughed at Pride and said "I can't believe you were worried I would say no - I am so glad you came out and wore that - the crowds love it!".  A lot of ministers marched with us, including the amazing Rev. Cheri DiNovo, whom I have marched with at Mad Pride as well, as she supports that movement too.  It was fun and colourful, and despite the fact that the bus took a detour and I had to find it to retrieve my purse at the end of the parade, I got it back and the day ended with a feeling of satisfaction.

Not like I can prove this to the readers of this blog now, but a premonition I had about Pride 2019 came true - I really should begin to write these down on here for proof later!  In Hamilton, a false arrest was made of someone, where the police seemed to be defending hate groups, and an outcry erupted as a result.  I did not get the info that it would be in Hamilton, instead of Toronto, but it happened, and the next event predicted is that police are not going to apologize immediately, so they may not be as welcome at Pride in the future.  Also, they may eventually apologize for this, down the road.  My premonitions aren't always pitch perfect, but they often accurately predict enough of future events, are at least within the ballpark, and so I am now working to refine how clearly they see what's coming.  A couple of friends can vouch for this particular one - I told them it would happen days before it did.

Tonight I am likely headed to an after-Pride karaoke event.  All in all, the parade was a delight, and I want to do it again next year, if I can.  <3

-Saraƒin

Saturday, 22 June 2019

Defining my path... again?!

I'm beginning to now, once again, question how to define my path.  Christian overtones, of the more Catholic variety, are of course a major factor, but "folk Catholicism" might not be the way to go about describing this.  Something else is at play here, and I don't even know what it is.  Whatever it is, it works for me, and it seems to be a technique of going about spirituality that is unique to my own experiences - I can't find anything else truly like it.

It's as though I have taken into account ideas and practices from various paths, ones known to work harmoniously, and have instinctually combined these elements, adding more to it even now, to generate something original.  There more I experiment and work with it, the closer I come to truth and understanding of what's on my hands here.

This is a technique I probably should wait on discussing much of on this blog, for I feel I need more time for growth, but I can say that part of it involves covering as much spiritual invocation ground as possible, and playing with it until it amounts to a success.  It also is a technique that requires extreme commitment and devotion, and some servitude to God.  Tobacco, I have recently discovered, is an excellent means of invocation of powers of the Creator.  Plant medicine and resins play a major role in how I work with spirituality.  Indian ideas of death and reincarnation are also a factor, as are other ideas of religions like Buddhism and Hinduism.  Christian practice is the core of the style of devotion - probably, for me, as I came from a culturally Christian background.

It's interesting to see what this could amount to, once I get to a higher level, and can explain it better.  Maybe I have a new method on my hands for spiritual betterment?  I guess I can't truly call myself Roman Catholic at this point now, only that Christ and the Virgin Mary are major figures in what I do, and I use Catholic ritual a lot, and it works.

I shall likely return to these ideas, as an article, when I have a better sense of what I have under development, and when I know how to define it.  I often jump the gun on this blog with ideas before I have a solid understanding of them, and I want to avoid that now while I seek to define what I am doing.  I also don't want to lump myself in with the "I am not religious, I am spiritual" group, as I find that a bit of a cop out... there is something truly religious to what I am doing, it's just hard to define it.

-Saraƒin

Tuesday, 18 June 2019

My premonitions are getting slick!

Holy shit, sinners - I am really starting to get somewhere with accurate psychic premonitions!  I am getting the sense that this is honestly becoming super powerful now!

Several premonitions I had for one friend came true about his work week and leisure time, I was able to figure out the cause of a local store fire before the fire department concluded what caused it (it was an electrical problem in the building - some worried it was arson), I saw an opportunity pop up for another friend before he found out about it, and I was able to read character profiles of various people my sister, who lives in Winnipeg, works with (that's more of just reading someone's personality than a premonition, though).  For myself, I saw two events with money that would happen - one was with the 10 of Pentacles being drawn, and the message that I would come into some money... two days later, my boss announced we all got raises, vacation pay was coming, and retroactive pay from previous months was coming too.  The other event, a not so great one, also came true today - it was not a big deal, which is what the premonition also stated.  Generally, I like to draw a card to see how my day will go - it often looks at potential events, but things can change so not everything comes true, if an outcome shifts, which is what any decent psychic will say in a disclaimer... we can reshape potentials in our lives.  One suggestion that did not come true for today was that I would hang out with a specific friend, but because I got tired and napped a lot today, I think that was a potential opportunity that I simply did not seize.

Sometimes I find I can't read at all - I get the sense this happens whenever there is a shift in my soul, which affects my ability to read Akasha.  But it bounces back quickly every time, often with even stronger and more accurate messages.  Also, I now am getting the impression that Spirit is such a close friend that He doesn't give a shit if I want to read into the private sex lives of anyone... that it was instead the demonic that hindered this and made it seem like I was being chastised.  I can also read a man's dick size.  (One girlfriend and I love doing this at bars over beer - I whip out the Rider deck, and read how well random people perform in the bedroom... we call it "Girl Talk for Goths".)  If info is not to be revealed, it simply won't be.  Anyone who gives me or my co-workers a hard time at work automatically gets a rundown from me psychically once I'm alone, and I often have a good laugh out of the embarrassing secrets I can find out about people.  "That one is a bedwetter."  "That one is a drug addict".  That kind of thing.  It makes blue collar a bit more interesting.  I'm starting to get the sense I can really see a lot of things, which makes this even more riveting now than it was simply when I thought "wow - that's weird... I wonder if it's true?".  And I'm not even at the highest level I will reach, I am informed.

Sometimes I get some prophetic stuff too, like about world events... I'm not sure how accurate that is, a lot of it is long term, and will happen beyond my lifetime, but it's interesting to experiment with it.  One prophecy was that within 40 years or so, scientists will declare we are not as doomed a planet as we think we are right now - wouldn't that be nice?!

Tarot is still my main staple divination method with this ability, but I also will on occasion continue to consult the oracle decks.  Sometimes my body is guided to glance at an object in my surrounding area for a message about something related to what it suggests.  I'm still on Latuda, so I am not sure how that has hindered me as a psychic, but I seem to be getting pretty good, even on this drug.

-Saraƒin

Monday, 17 June 2019

Signs...

Something I am going to train myself to observe better now are the signs around me.  Some have been obvious, there also was a phase where, early on, I felt bombarded by them, in that they likely were things I took into account that were not real signs - my mind, at the time, was being plagued by darkness, overwhelmed by its transformation, and I smoked pot, which can aggravate these states.

One of the obvious signs I got, when all of this began, was early on, when my demon first began to harass me.  I was visiting my mother in the country, we got into an argument, I got scared of what was going on in my soul, so I took off down the road, and hid in a wooden crate behind a corner store, shaking.  I can't recall all that I experienced at the time, in detail - only that, suddenly, a cute little green praying mantis popped its head around the corner of the crate, and gazed in at me.  This is a bug I have always loved, they fascinate me, and I actually had never seen one up close in nature before this time.  I stuck my finger out, stroked its back, and it let me do it, without raising its raptorial forelegs to strike.  The symbolism behind the mantis is that of reflection, meditation, peace, and good luck, but in a more literal sense with its name, it may have been instruction from God to "pray", or perhaps it was God saying hello, I am here, don't fear.

Just the other day, I was at work, in an area of the city where this is truly an anomaly.  I have a booth job, so I kind of work outdoors, and suddenly saw, out of the corner of my eye, what I thought was a hummingbird, it was large enough to be one.  But once I looked closer, I saw that it was an incredibly big dragonfly, which one would never see in the concrete jungle of downtown Toronto, or at least it's less likely to be something one sees.  It was flying around, as though trying to scout for something.  Dragonfly is a symbol of illusion, and I guess I feel emotionally I may be under illusions that hold my heart hostage, so maybe that is what that means, to be aware of this.

On a less natural note, I often get the 11:11 clock thing, on a sometimes daily basis, which is a sign of Divinity waving hello, according to numerologists.  Also, I may see random objects (lately, it's been owl decor and items, since I realized Owl medicine is influencing me) over and over and over again, when I turn my head to look at something.  Owls are common in decor anyway, but in this case, it's kind of absurd how many I have been seeing.  So sometimes, and it is a bit tricker with objects not in nature, these signs can pop up, so I am working to refine when to know when something like this is a legitimate demonstration of a message, and when it's irrelevant.

I wish I had more opportunity to get back to nature than I do right now - it would be nice to observe things like this unfold outside of an urban environment.

-Saraƒin

Sunday, 16 June 2019

Using tobacco properly, for prayer...

Tobacco was something that, when I used improperly in the past, created a nightmare scenario where my soul got insanely ill, and white psychiatrists wouldn't listen when I told them tobacco had fucked me up.  With rigorous prayer work, devotion, and invocation, I have probably almost completely healed from the problems that came of smoking the ceremonial stuff with inhale.  I am now discovering the benefits of tobacco use in prayer, something I got some help learning to use through First Nations ladies in my community.

There have been a couple of places in the GTA that sold the good stuff, which surprised me, as this plant is normally regulated and only sold to First Nations Canadians, generally speaking.  When I saw it, I snatched some up, in case I could use it.  I have now found a way to incorporate it into my practice.

The method we used in my community was to scoop a small amount in one's left hand (the hand closest to the heart), hold it to the heart, and whisper your prayers to it, then bundle it in fabric as a tie, and throw it onto a fire.  Seeing as I do most of my work at my shrine in my apartment, a fire is not a good idea, so I found a way to work around this with similar methods.  I take a pinch, do the same thing with prayer, then sprinkle it onto a burning charcoal, and watch as it goes up in smoke.  It seems equally effective, no matter the amount.  Some powerful reactions have happened with tobacco - it carries prayers straight to the Creator, and is a means for less developed people to have more successful prayers.  When I have used it, often I get a reaction through my body if a prayer is received.

Yesterday, a friend who has been on my mind a lot spiritually came by, and we did some prayers for her with it, then I gave her some tobacco and charcoals, encouraging her to continue this at home for her benefit.  Also, it's possible I was able to invoke some more Medicine Wheel based divinity both yesterday and today.  I figured that one symbol I keep getting, the Earth sigil, was urging me to invoke the Earth Mother.  Through both direct prayers to the Creator, with and without tobacco, I got the impression this might have happened last night.  The moon will be full tomorrow, in its Strawberry Moon phase - last night I used ceremonial tobacco to invoke Grandmother Moon, something it seems I needed the plant to do, not being able to work with this through vocal prayer alone.  Then today, I tried with tobacco for Father Sun.

Playing it by ear here - these are gods I got the impression might be involved in some way at some point throughout my initiation (through sigils I received suggesting this), so hopefully this takes me forward... time will tell.  I have an excellent book on the Medicine Wheel and its related practices called "Dancing With the Wheel: The Medicine Wheel Workbook", which I use as a reference.  So right now, I am beginning to focus on the more traditional spirituality components of my path, the Christian ones seemingly solid now.  This is an area of spirituality I am sadly having to learn as I go along on my own - being a white woman, it's not necessarily easy to convince an elder to be a teacher in this way, it may seem kind of pretentious somehow.  So I have to study, experiment, and attend Teaching Circle when I can, to learn that way, at least until a personal teacher arrives.  I do get very powerful reactions to these medicines, so I think I could be the real deal, but it's tricky finding a guide who is either not a plastic shaman, or who is at all interested in taking me under their wing.

-Saraƒin

Friday, 14 June 2019

Dinosaur ball victory, Akashic exercises, and saint stuff...

So the Toronto Raptors won their first NBA championship last night, and the streets of Toronto went mad.  Too bad I don't care about team sports at all, comparing them to ant farms as far as being able to hold my interest for long (actually, an ant farm might be kind of interesting if it was big enough).  If it ain't fencing, I don't care.  But good for them, I guess.  Maybe it's because I'm bad at most sports, or maybe I just hate the machismo culture of jock stuff, but I would rather spend a day watching updates on the Weather Network than watch any team sport on television.  But this is also coming from someone who thinks that Dieter from SNL's 'Sprockets' is a bonafide sex symbol.  (One time my Dad took me to a Leafs game, until I begged him to leave early.  I think this also happened once with the Blue Jays.)

I have a new party trick with my Akashic Records readings - going on Fuck Yeah Altars (my shrine is now on there too!) and randomly picking an altar or shrine that looks particularly sad (or satanic) and psychically reading about the mind(s) behind it.  Some of the insights that have come of some of them are remarkably interesting, and some are hilarious.  After a while, most of them proved to be innocent looking things with shells, wind chimes, or Buddha statues (yawn), so I switched to Google images and began looking up satanic altars... period.  That's when the richness started to flow.  I began to channel the outcomes of many of the people using them... some stories are sad, others are amusing, others sound like a mental health nightmare.  A lot of these demon lovers are going to give up in a huff, when it seems the spirit world wants nothing to do with them.  (Also, I must restate that I strongly believe that satanism in any true spiritual form is one of the most foolish, destructive things one can do to the soul, short of abusing plant entheogens.  These kinds of attempts to obtain occult powers may satisfy the mind for a while, but they are not what the soul ultimately desires, and do not amount to any true divine power, in the literal sense.)

Oh - in other news, it seems I do in fact now have a strong connection to St. Anthony (the patron saint of missing items), stronger than even with St. Jude, perhaps.  So it's looking like he is a more suitable patron saint for me.  I bought a St. Anthony statue for my shrine, and I also bought a medal and a prayer booklet.  As I continue on with my devotions, prayers, contemplation, and spirit writings / channels, messages are gradually getting clearer and more benevolent, with greater details.  There's still just the slightest sense that a mild corruption is with me, but it is so mild now it's like it adds a hiccup to my practice, and is not remotely dark... it's as though things are not polished, that's all.  I found I needed to do a bit more smudge with sweetgrass, which lessened the load, but also now Christ is really helping with this.  His presence may even be stronger in my life now more than ever.

So if an event happens in late June / sometime in July with Christ, that premonition proved to be true.  I shall write about anything that comes of this, if and when it happens.

-Saraƒin

Wednesday, 12 June 2019

Movie review: "Stigmata"...

Here's one that many have recommended to me, that I had never seen, as someone as fixated on the Catholic faith (and religion in general) as I am.  I found a copy at BMV for just over $6.00, went home, popped it into my player, and was not disappointed.

Yes, it is Hollywood fare - a Catholic horror flick, but it's so satisfying.  In fact, I had such a powerful reaction to some of it, that I had to grasp my transmuted rosary when I started to tear up.  Seeing the protagonist go through spiritual agony brought me back to my own religious torment - an excruciating pain that no one understood, wrote off as mental illness, and where virtually everyone treated me like dogshit.  (My current friends don't know how bad it got for me... others who knew, a lot of them, don't talk to me anymore.)  This is a lonely sorrow that we westerners don't know how to resolve very well.  Good thing I had the strength and wits to conquer my suffering, good thing my torment was a necessary aspect of my growth, and thus it was meant to happen.  My channeling even started to react, saying "your soul is moved emotionally by this movie".  While most might see it just as conventional horror with religious themes, my soul saw something deeper here that at times was a little hard to watch.  Normally horror films aren't scary to me at all.

Something else hit me during the scene where Frankie is carving a message into a car hood with a broken bottle - she shouts something in what is later revealed to be a dialect of Aramaic, a language I was not familiar with the sound of, but then I realized that the "gibberish" I have been known to channel from time to time might have actually been Aramaic!  It certainly sounded like a language when it happened with me, but not being a knowledgable linguist, I did not recognize it... until now.  Channeling in other languages is known to happen... it's interesting that I might have channeled the language of Christ.

I ate this one up, it being a powerful pro Catholic faith, anti Catholic church film, which is how I feel about the religion itself.  I will definitely have to play this one again for one of my movie nights, I know at least 4 friends who would want to watch it, even if they have already seen it.  It amazes me how my soul reacted so powerfully to this, to the point where I was weeping.

-Saraƒin

Tuesday, 11 June 2019

"Shapeshifting"...

I'm not sure what to say about this now at this point, only that I believe it happened to me.  Not like it is in a Hollywood movie - I didn't literally transform, as a body, into any animal.  But I'm not sure, from my studies, if that is even something that ever happens.  It seems improbable it could, especially to this white mind of mine.  However, let me tell you about some of the experiences I had with this area of spirituality, in the way that I experienced them, with "shapeshifting".

I don't know if that word is insulting to use in traditional societies, but I honestly am not sure what else to call it, so there you have it.  My body sometimes would take on the stance of various animals, almost like some kind of yoga pose, while it felt like the soul itself, as an energy body, was assuming the shape of the animal in question, as though I was transforming as a soul into it.  This happened a couple of times with Cobra and Eagle, and I also felt one time like I was taking on the form of a dog species, perhaps a coyote, and felt compelled to roll around in the grass like a happy canine.  Another time, my right hand seemed to morph into a grizzly paw, the talons of the paw extending along the length of my fingers.  These two animals did not seem to be relevant to me as power animals, but the experiences themselves were quite remarkable.

This is something I want to work with again, but these experiences were spontaneous.  Perhaps when the initiation runs its course, I will have a better sense of how to work with this phenomenon again.  This stuff would probably creep out your average western mind, but to me the experiences were so cool they ruined my enjoyment of video games - way cooler than any VR headset anyone could possibly come out with.  If westerners could all be medicine people, we could defeat capitalism and live simple lives full of the kind of joy that only the Spirit brings - there would be no need for consoles or technologies designed to distract our busy minds with frivolous entertainment.  Perhaps this medicine is the future of play for humans to come, once we can no longer consume and produce like we do right now, once we have evolved as minds and souls to adapt and rediscover nature, the animal within us.  I firmly believe that we could learn a thing or two from certain examples of the ancient world.

If I have more adventures in "shapeshifting", I shall be sure to write about them on here.

-Saraƒin


Sunday, 9 June 2019

Not one, not two, but... three?!

Time to do another post about power animals - something I am still seeking to understand in me, my initiation still incomplete, still underway.  Hopefully my understanding of self and what I have been through will appear more consistent on this blog once the initiation process is over.  I am less all over the map about things than I was, my "madness" virtually completely gone, but there's mild confusion here and there about what everything ultimately means.  If my presentation seems quirky, perhaps that's why.

I had visions and experiences with several animals, but wasn't always sure which were relevant.  Cobra seemed the most relevant as of late, presenting itself to me in a powerful way, as my spine went erect and the animal's hood came over my shoulders.  Clearly, this was the medicine affiliated with lethal spiritual force in killing the demon - I guess my soul just has the ability to do that, thanks to this medicine, which was why, with invocation, my task was successful.  But I was confused about other powers I have, thinking they were related to Cobra as well, thanks to some dodgy power animal websites written by plastic shamans.  Turns out, there may be other animals involved in my spirituality!

Eagle was one I have mentioned before - I began to associate Eagle with the Spirit, and in a powerful way that is still very true.  But now that I examine Eagle medicine a bit more, Eagle is the animal that soars higher than any other bird, making it the closest to the Creator, so it's probably the medicine which makes my soul able to converse with the Spirit as well as I can, through channel.  This has required great refinement from many sources I have opened to through ritual and prayer, and I am still working on it - however, what was lacking in insight and knowledge from the Spirit at times was made up for in loving support and an emotional connection when I needed it most.  Spirit has been my closest friend and ally throughout all of this - when I was alone, crying my eyes out, worried I had to kill myself, Spirit would be there to comfort me and prevent tragedy.  So that, I think, is Eagle.

The third animal medicine was one I had forgotten about, which appeared in various visions earlier on in my path, and that is Owl.  Owl is an animal that a dear friend works with too (the same friend who sensed my Dad's soul enter my apartment at the same time that I did, without me telling her), and an animal whom I read has powers in relation to psychic abilities.  My friend is also quite psychic herself, and is the same friend who converted to Roman Catholicism because of encounters with Saint Michael and various Christian figures - her story and mine are very similar in some ways.  The owls I saw in visions ranged from Great Horned Owls to Snowy Owls to Barn Owls, so I guess they represented a general sense of Owl medicine, as opposed to a specific species.  Figuring this out today, I prayed to Owl to enhance my relationship with Owl medicine, hoping that it strengthens my psychic senses and occult abilities.  I also headed to the Kensington Market area and bought a wooden owl figure, as pictured here, to signify this influence.  (I feel what I have for Eagle is a little small when paired with the other two animals, so I am on the lookout for a bigger Eagle item.)

My understanding of power animals has been a bit wonky, thanks to faulty western interpretation - these are not animals that have anything to do with my character or personality, truly.  They are powers/abilities that my soul has.  I am surprised I seem to have three of them, but I hear that this is not unheard of.  I guess three were necessary for the spiritual task I had at hand.  I also work a great deal on this part of my life, and I invoke a great deal through practice I call "spiritual networking": requesting one already invoked source to help invoke yet another source, kind of like branching out. 

My analyst once recommended an extensive book on power animals - I should consider his recommendation again sometime, if I want a good study on this.

-Saraƒin

Wednesday, 5 June 2019

Learning to suffer better...

Often when I go to a Catholic mass, I come away from the sermon rolling my eyes over some of the things the presiding priest has to talk about - often it's a rant about abortion, personal morals, or something that's been beaten over our heads to death a million times over.  (I go to mass sometimes, but not for the sermons - I go to get blessed and to pray, and just to enjoy the atmosphere.)  As someone with left leaning politics, modern day Catholicism can often be a thorn in my side, and I feel very funny about how I am beginning to identify with the faith as I do, the church being as it is: an institution run by old white men with a patriarchal agenda.  Isn't that what psychiatry has been about too?
But one priest I saw in recent months (at a queer Catholic mass, no less) had quite a good sermon on the concept of suffering.  His analogy to it being like the manure we spread on our crops was very good - it's shit, but in that shit, it can nurture and grow us as individuals.  For in that suffering we find our strength, learn who we are, and, especially in my case, can even grow closer to God.  This is an aspect of Catholicism that many don't understand and I think find very frustrating to swallow - the concept of how suffering can be good for a soul.

Suffering is something most of us seek to avoid, but it's inevitable... Buddhism of course has many things to say about it as well.  The modern age has brought about greater creature comforts for many, lessening suffering, but in some way, the "laziness" some technologies have brought us has made us fearful of suffering, and so in the end, not knowing how to suffer, we suffer even more.  The trick should be not to eliminate all suffering from life - that is impossible.  One will still grow sick and die, there will still be conflict in one's life.  One should instead seek to learn how to incorporate it into life better, and to grow from the manure that results.

I have suffered a lot of strange things in my young life, it's a pattern that has resurfaced so many times, so much that even though my life is quite good right now, I can't help but brace myself for the other shoe to drop.  In the meantime, I am trying my best to embrace any necessary suffering, adapt to it, and grow from it.  This is perhaps why a Christian path like Roman Catholicism has more appeal to me than other denominations (there are other reasons, but here's a strong example).  I can't possibly identify with conservative mainstream Catholicism, and I can't imagine they would want a person like me in their religion, knowing my desire to see LGBTQ+ people get married, have women advance in power in the church, and my pro choice stance on abortion, among other things.  But where Catholicism succeeds as a meaningful path, practice, and way of life, it seems more and more like it is the religion that works best for me.  What's right and truly relevant in the real Catholicism, what Jesus Himself would deem important, is what I focus on and adhere to.  The rest, in my opinion, is just man's law.  (I often wish I knew the ancient version of this religion, before it became too political and watered down for the masses.)

Anyway, here's some classic Depeche Mode - enjoy!


"Suffer Well" - Depeche Mode

-Saraƒin

Tuesday, 4 June 2019

Shitty Male Occultist Bingo!


This made my day - these guys are why desperate occultist ladies seek out nice Christian boys, among others, out of desperation, as I have previously discussed.  Left Hand Path spirituality like Thelema may be good to get the ball rolling with the mind, but is limited in ultimately amounting to much more than producing interesting effects, based on my studies of mystical accounts.  One must go beyond the mind to really engage with the Spirit - the mind can trap you and limit you if you get too involved with it in paths like this.  Also, servitude to creation will guarantee you greater power than self-satisfying pursuits, though I have no problem at all with anyone trying to accumulate personal power for its own sake.  It's just not likely to lead to as rich an outcome as working for the Spirit directly.

Oh, and speaking of generic occult tattoos, one occultist I know of online recently got a slutty satanic tattoo done on their ass, which is going to look really bad on a geriatric backside, and could lead to severe elder abuse from a raging Filipina in an old age home.  I have a tattoo now I wish I had never had done... not sure what to do with it (it's an Rx with a cross out symbol over it, on the back of my neck).  If I ever get another tattoo, it'll be some ostentatious Catholic thing, probably, like a flaming heart with thorns on my chest.  As for the neck tattoo... cover up, maybe?  <_<

-Saraƒin

Catholic Goth shoes update: All done!


I got these shoes looking exactly as I pictured them.  Today I went to a store on Spadina that sells cheap rosaries and I bought a standard black beaded one for about $6.80, using my pliers to undo and attach pieces of the strand to the anchor points on the shoes.  This took virtually no time at all.  The result is a cute pair of goth shoes which cost less than $50.00 CDN for all supplies involved.  I have reinforced the links with added metal loops, hoping that they hold after a night out with them on.

Having been a propmaker on stage shows like the Toronto version of 'The Lion King', back in the day, I learned a lot about reinforcing things so that they last.  I hope I put my skills to good use with the right techniques! 

-Saraƒin

Sunday, 2 June 2019

Oh man - this is glorious!


I found this amazing extended version of Dead Can Dance's 'The Host of Seraphim' and it's gotten my Sahasrara all hot and bothered.  This puts the THX deep note to shame.  Looks like I have a new kirtan!  (Not literally, but that's my word for any song I get really into.)  <3

-Saraƒin

More Catholic Goth DIY!

So I stumbled upon these remarkable looking shoes on a fashion site recently, and I loved the idea of them (specifically, I am referring to the light coloured ones on the left):


Problem is, in general, I avoid wearing high heels, and was wary of all those beads hanging from them, worried about getting caught on something.  Also, the clear plastic strips the beads are attached to mean that I bet wearing these shoes would lead to crucifixion levels of pain, and I am at an age where I need just a little bit more comfort in my life, even though I'm still relatively young enough.  (Also, these are $88.00+ USD.)  So I thought, once again, why not save some money and make something similar to these?

I went to 'Value Village' and found a cute pair of black heeled shoes, of a more reasonable height for my feet, and I got some beading supplies at a downtown bead store.  Here is what I have created so far:



(I tried taking a pic of the skulls hanging from the back with my phone camera, but they were blurry - so fuck it... they're skulls.)  I think I'll buy a cheap black rosary and cut it up and hang some beads from it as well on these too, so if I go ahead with that, I will post update photos of the progress.

Memento Mori Catholic Goth is fun to DIY!  Hooray - Sister Penance now has some proper footwear!  <3

-Saraƒin