Monday, 17 June 2019

Signs...

Something I am going to train myself to observe better now are the signs around me.  Some have been obvious, there also was a phase where, early on, I felt bombarded by them, in that they likely were things I took into account that were not real signs - my mind, at the time, was being plagued by darkness, overwhelmed by its transformation, and I smoked pot, which can aggravate these states.

One of the obvious signs I got, when all of this began, was early on, when my demon first began to harass me.  I was visiting my mother in the country, we got into an argument, I got scared of what was going on in my soul, so I took off down the road, and hid in a wooden crate behind a corner store, shaking.  I can't recall all that I experienced at the time, in detail - only that, suddenly, a cute little green praying mantis popped its head around the corner of the crate, and gazed in at me.  This is a bug I have always loved, they fascinate me, and I actually had never seen one up close in nature before this time.  I stuck my finger out, stroked its back, and it let me do it, without raising its raptorial forelegs to strike.  The symbolism behind the mantis is that of reflection, meditation, peace, and good luck, but in a more literal sense with its name, it may have been instruction from God to "pray", or perhaps it was God saying hello, I am here, don't fear.

Just the other day, I was at work, in an area of the city where this is truly an anomaly.  I have a booth job, so I kind of work outdoors, and suddenly saw, out of the corner of my eye, what I thought was a hummingbird, it was large enough to be one.  But once I looked closer, I saw that it was an incredibly big dragonfly, which one would never see in the concrete jungle of downtown Toronto, or at least it's less likely to be something one sees.  It was flying around, as though trying to scout for something.  Dragonfly is a symbol of illusion, and I guess I feel emotionally I may be under illusions that hold my heart hostage, so maybe that is what that means, to be aware of this.

On a less natural note, I often get the 11:11 clock thing, on a sometimes daily basis, which is a sign of Divinity waving hello, according to numerologists.  Also, I may see random objects (lately, it's been owl decor and items, since I realized Owl medicine is influencing me) over and over and over again, when I turn my head to look at something.  Owls are common in decor anyway, but in this case, it's kind of absurd how many I have been seeing.  So sometimes, and it is a bit tricker with objects not in nature, these signs can pop up, so I am working to refine when to know when something like this is a legitimate demonstration of a message, and when it's irrelevant.

I wish I had more opportunity to get back to nature than I do right now - it would be nice to observe things like this unfold outside of an urban environment.

-Saraƒin

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