Friday, 20 November 2020


Damn it, sinners - I was THIS close to getting those new books in my hands and in stores!   Looks like all non-essential businesses are closing again, or are at least limited, so that probably includes my printers too, who were late because they were backlogged from the last lockdown.  I will have to see with them on Monday for sure, but anyone who wants a copy may have to wait even longer.  These guys give me a good deal and are old friends so I use them - other printers would be beyond my budget for what I need made, most likely.  It will one day be out - COVID-19 screwed up so much for the art world.  Disgraceland, where I was likely going to have the launch, is also a dead venue now.  Oh dear.  Time to make like a Carmelite nun again and hunker down in my contemplation, because I have no more shifts at work for a while either.  I will probably be on CRB or EI again soon, so I am at least not concerned about money.

I went back to the Marian shrine yesterday, one more time before it gets too cold.  It's not even that warm right now, but at least above freezing for something like that.  I stayed for about 2 hours, mostly in the chapel.  I broke down and wept over what still doesn't feel right in my soul.  There's a power at that site that comes through strongly - I suddenly channeled to pray to Jesus that, in His name, I be redeemed of all sin, meaning mostly the sin that came into me from the encounter with the demon.  (I guess I had failed to pray this away well, or maybe I just had to keep praying for it - I don't recall what I have asked with this in mind in the past.)  Shivering, I took my rosary off my wrist and prayed a round of that, making that my intention.  As I completed it, it suddenly felt much warmer, as though the temperature had gone up by about ten degrees.  Then, I got a channel that suggested my prayers were answered.  Today is much better.  So I am hoping I got a taste of a miracle at the Marian shrine, and I might now be even more on the mend.  It's been a general sense of weariness and irritation that has been less intrusive, but has still affected me.  So, I guess that was concentrated sin causing it?  Strange!  Perhaps it muddles channel making it hard to hear God when I open.  Psychic readings can be hit or miss... one I did was really off recently.

I do hope this is the end, but of course time will tell.  I am willing to keep fighting to be healthy again in mind, body and spirit.  Some days are bad, but I am good at bouncing back.  God doesn't want me to lose to my suffering.


Tuesday, 17 November 2020

Printer's proof!

Today I visited my printers to pick up a proof for review - only three edits seem to be needed, otherwise it looks and reads great.  I am so proud of my friend for putting this together for me, saving both my mind and the printers some time.  If there is a second shutdown, it is my hope that all copies will be in my possession before that happens.  I will be emailing the printers with corrections tonight or tomorrow and will be updating on here again once details on where to buy them become available.  (So far, I can tell you that definitely you can expect to see that "The Beguiling" and "Caversham Booksellers" in Toronto will carry them.  Otherwise, I can and will do mail orders.)

Man, a lot of Jehovah's Witnesses keep calling me to preach - best way to handle 'em, I find, is to just tell them that I already know Jesus, which is honestly the truth, in my case - cuts the call immediately.  I don't go on to tell 'em about Sekhmet and other influences I pray to - probably best to leave it at Christ!

I have plans to go back to the Marian Shrine very soon to stay longer next time, with a scribbler for spirit writing, to see what comes of that experience.  I will go by myself this time, I might stay for several hours.  Others plan on going again in the spring but before it gets really cold, I want to check it out once more.  It's so powerful there.


Friday, 13 November 2020

The Marian Shrine of Gratitude: A field trip...

Today, two other members of my rosary coven and I took a trek out to see the Marian Shrine of Gratitude, out by Weston road and Sheppard avenue, in Toronto.  A mutual friend of ours discovered it on a blog - it's a sacred site that has been said to create miracles for some who visit and petition Mary.  "Ok - we're going!" I said, when I heard about it.  Originally, two others were going to join us today, but they felt that with COVID-19 numbers rising, they would put it off to keep our numbers small, until another day.  So, it was the Anglican Druid, the St. Joan of Arc devotee, and myself who went.

It was a cool but beautiful day, and as we rode the bus there from Sheppard West station, I remarked on how lovely the beams of heavenly light emitting from the overcast sky looked upon the horizon.  When we arrived at the house where the shrine stands, the Druid nearly accidentally crushed a garter snake on the path, but the St. Joan devotee quickly noticed, and we pulled him away - thank God, since the serpent is a symbol of sacred power, and to me this was a sign of how powerful this site is.

The site reminds me of a secret garden - you wouldn't likely know it was there unless you were told about it, it's rather tucked away, overlooking a sports field down a hill.  Rosaries and crosses on strings hang from the branches of trees planted there - many have left notes and offerings, petitioning requests.   It looks as though the shrine was once a pool, but was converted in time.  The story is that a priest was cleaning the area, when a branch lanced his eye, and he called to Mary for healing.  Not only was his eye saved, but he was gifted perfect vision as well.  This led to the land being recognized for its healing properties, rather like a Canadian Lourdes.

I felt a powerful reaction and greeting through channel when I stepped into the courtyard of the shrine, and so I pulled out my litany booklet, got on my knees, and recited a litany to Our Lady of Perpetual Help for blessings and healing.  Then we did the rosary, and I paid a small donation and lit a candle as well.  We stayed for about an hour, I decided that I would definitely return one day, probably in the spring.

Also neat was a rather fluffy, handsome looking cat strolling the premises - not sure if he belongs to the priests, but he seemed to like the area, and fit right in with the nature about the shrine.  There was also an indoor portion where an altar stood, with seating, and a place for prayer requests.

It's nice that there's something like this in Toronto - I never expected to go to a sacred spot this close by.  The power I felt in Sedona was more of a sensation of great spiritual presence - this had a bit of that, but was also very mystical in that I felt greeted there.

I recommend it for anyone who wants a tiny taste of the sacred in a city that doesn't tend to give the sacred much thought.

Our little friend from today - glad they survived!


UPDATE: In other news, I am collecting the proof copy of my final graphic novel on Tuesday - once approved, I will be printing 100 copies of the book and putting them in stores.  A booklaunch looks unlikely at this time.

Tuesday, 10 November 2020

Interesting channeled insights on Adam and Eve...

Perhaps I will revisit this again once my channel is that much finer, but I have been getting fascinating insights into the true meaning of the Adam and Eve story of Genesis.  (Disclaimer: Not being a biblical scholar, I am not even sure what others have claimed while interpreting it - I have read Genesis a few times, and am opening to channel to see what it says about its meaning.  Keep that in mind while reading this article.)

One of the most boring interpretations of Adam and Eve is that it's a creation story of the first man and woman, something that fundamentalists like to prop up as proof that homosexuality is a sin - "Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve", they will say, like some self appointed moral authority.  I always find this profoundly stupid and reductive to the story itself, to be honest.  But I wanted to call upon the Spirit, as an experiment, to see what channel has to say about the meaning, because it is rich in symbolism:

Firstly, I see the description of the creation of the heavens and the earth, and everything described therein, as metaphors for the emanations of existence, similar to what is described in Kabbalistic understanding.  What follows is perhaps on par with what Lurianic Kabbalists might think of what came of God's creation when existence was willed.  Channel said that the Garden of Eden is the construct we exist in, and the way the world unfolded.  Adam and Eve are not primordial humans - they are the components of the cosmos that create.  In Kabbalah, Keter is the subtlest emanation, closest to YHWH, and is masculine - Malkuth is feminine, and relates to the physical, affiliated with Shekinah.  Keter spilled into the other emanations as God willed the Tree of Life, thus producing Malkuth - so, in this myth, Eve came of the rib of Adam, a metaphor for the Sacred Feminine birthed out of the Sacred Masculine.

The Tree of Knowledge, I am getting, represents the Spirit as is, blossoming of the Divine, and the serpent is knowledge itself, rather like the serpent of kundalini.  Eve, representing Nature, desires to see, so she eats from the Tree of Knowledge, and there is a reaction in Adam, who represents the Source.  This suggests that somehow the Sacred Feminine became conflicted, relating worse to the Sacred Masculine.  The sin in eating from the Tree of Knowledge is that it would invoke an understanding that isn't there yet, and one who attempts knowledge would find a lack of true knowledge.  This is a metaphor for the cosmos and how it is not yet understood what it is.  The story suggests that existence itself is simply unsound at this point.  God's anger here comes of the horror of his creation going wrong.

The cherubim who guard the Garden of Eden once Adam and Eve are banished imply an order that was created by God once a flaw in creation was generated.  This flaw, like Lurianics have stated, came of when the will of God was too much for creation, and this part of Genesis is an attempt to interpret that.  It is not that the woman sinned, it is that the reaction in an overabundance of God's will created a flaw in the Sacred Feminine, which affected all.  Unfortunately, fanatics choose to humiliate womankind because of shoddy ideas about this story.

Just some ideas that came through - maybe I will channel more in time, if I give Genesis another good look over and consider other pieces of symbolism.  I believe the Bible is a sacred talisman that has been good at evoking ideas, but makes a lousy contemporary moral guide, except perhaps here and there.  I like to study it sometimes, and use mostly Proverbs and the Psalms, as I have said, but prefer other readings as a personal guide for morality... just my choice.  I feel that the Bible is dated, it didn't age well in the way it has been used, but it is still relevant.


The benefits of invoking the mystical Jesus for magickal practice...

It has come to my attention, both through personal experience and through channel, that Jesus is one of the more important influences that has shaped my magickal life.  Unfortunately, due to bland religiosity, He sometimes gets a reputation for being the kind of god who would frown upon magicians.  I see this as profoundly untrue, and now wish to list some examples of why I see Him as an indispensable ally in the magician's court, if He is invoked mystically:

• Jesus, first and foremost, purifies the soul of the corruption that exists in all, the result of what came about from flaws in the creation of existence, what Christians might call "original sin".  Corruption can pepper one's practice with illusion, making the results of practice confusing, or even drive a soul to karmic hell or lunacy.  Clearing this, it becomes more evident to the magician when magick has been effective, and after a certain point, Jesus may even prevent karmic backlash.  He is a mighty protector and in working with Him one can correct complications, should things go wrong.

• Jesus helps blossom a person to their highest potential, even if that leads a person to transform into someone they didn't expect.  He brings forth the deeper Self.  While the words of biblical Jesus, religiously followed by mainstream understanding, may encourage a certain way of being as a practice, mystical Jesus literally is a power that shapes the soul to conform to the will of God - God being the deeper Self.  All people are emanations of God, though some are more realized than others, and Jesus is a god who helps bring that out in people, when He is mystically involved.  He also helps people transcend the cycle of rebirth.

• Jesus resonates with the highest Divinities, and can bring you closer to them.  My belief is that biblical Jesus and His story are myth, based on a real man, who was a god, who came and is now Spirit itself, but was the needed connection for humanity at the time.  He is an accessible god who will answer any person who seeks Him enough, when other gods may only be suitable for some.  He may also act as a stepping stone to gods who may otherwise be hard to invoke without Him or other gods who could.

• Some argue that invoking demons can help to conquer old traits using a kind of shadow work - I say Dr. Carl Jung would call bullshit on this if he was alive to hear it.  Corruption, which exists in all unless worked out of oneself, must be eradicated for clarity, and so the idea of taking on further corruption by invoking lower entities suggests to me one might find themselves in a deeper delusional state than the status quo if they engage this kind of corruption enough.  My suggestion is to leave this stuff alone - seek the higher realms.  In certain seekers, "demons" will come forward to be defeated, as they should be... one must not remain in the training grounds in the search for the Self.  I could be wrong, but I have yet to encounter a writer who has engaged with the demonic enough who provides more than perhaps an interesting story... I just don't trust it to be relevant occult knowledge when I have heard it, compared to the holiest of mystics and what they have to say.  One thing I definitely trust is that if demonic engagement doesn't seem to harm you in this life, your bardo period might suck monkey balls, and you may suffer serious karmic problems in future lives as well.

Just my opinion on things, having lived the life I live, gotten out of a worst case scenario for the soul, one I didn't even call upon myself.  I know others will disagree - the esoteric is a domain people have debated since the dawn of man's pursuit of the soul.


Friday, 6 November 2020

Considering neurology in my prayers...

An excellent video on kundalini and neurology

A while ago, with Metatron, I had considered some of what the video above discusses about neurological shifts with the kundalini, including that the neocortex and the limbic system are meant to be still to defeat "monkey mind", which is what most humans who have not developed their consciousness are described as experiencing.  As a result, with time, I felt a mindful calm come over much of my processing, and finer ideas began to surface, I was able to handle stress better, became more intellectual, among other things that perhaps don't come to mind, or are beneath my awareness.  One thing I did not consider until today is that my reptilian brain must not only be the more active centre, but perhaps could stand to increase in activity from where it is at this point.  So that was the latest for today.  When I prayed for it, I channeled some hopeful messages about further neurological progress, and now I wait to see how this unfolds.

Although constructs like chakras and sephirot are great tools for contemplation when it comes to achieving higher faculties of consciousness, one should also consider the brain itself in prayer.  I recommend this video for some understanding on what yogis have come to conclude on brain function and enlightenment.  Raja Choudhury is an evocative speaker, and I have played this several times over to take in what he has to say on the subject.  (I am also considering the enteric nervous system a bit in my prayers today as well.  Hopefully results will be obvious enough to discuss what I observe.)

I am now certain CBD has made a difference in me, and I continue to consume it, with breaks here and there, to urge consciousness in the correct direction.  This video also discusses the use of entheogens a bit, along with other techniques.


Sunday, 1 November 2020

Hallowe'en 2020 rundown...

Carmelite nun and the Holy Trinity - Hallowe'en 2020

Hello sinners -

I hope Hallowe'en 2020 was ok for you - not the greatest due to the pandemic, but some I know still had a good time.  I spent most of the day at the psychic parlour, did a reading, and hung out with other psychics in training, including this lovely lady above who went as the Holy Trinity.  I wore a mask to stay COVID safe, and found it worked surprisingly well style wise with the nun habit - almost like a Carmelite nun who is curious about becoming a Jain.  So Pope Joan didn't happen, but maybe another year.  The moon was big and beautiful and it's a shame that this year couldn't have been just a bit more exciting - still, doing psychic readings on Hallowe'en has its own kind of novelty.

Another one of my spells seems to have worked.  Mom's cat Luigi is a beautiful overweight boy who is obsessed with over grooming, and has licked his belly bald.  Mom asked me to cast a spell on him, so I petitioned Sekhmet to ease the cat's anxiety, or whatever it was causing this to happen with him, and already it's curbed his behaviour a bit, and hair is growing back.  Hopefully this isn't a coincidence, but it doesn't seem like it, because the cat has been chronic about his trichotillomania, and nothing else seemed to work.  BTW, the other cat my sister was catsitting sprayed a bit more again, but was quickly moved to another location by a person who stepped forward, so I guess the end result of that spell was just to get that cat the hell out of my sister's apartment.  Psychically, I read that this cat just didn't like her, and although you can't pee on hospitality, you also can't cure hatred with a candle, I guess.

Readings are growing finer, but I have a new concern - how do I, as a professional, deliver a difficult reading to a client without ruining their day?  I need to now understand how to be as gentle as possible when the news is not good.  I guess I would just recommend that they seek Divinity to solve their karmic problems, but I worry about scaring people who can't handle it.  That's the trick with being a professional psychic - the good ones can be scary, and the bad ones make all of us look like charlatans.  I demand to be as accurate as possible before taking money, at least higher fees, anyway.  I am now a semi professional, but I don't demand coin.  Still in training, though my teacher thinks I'm pretty much there.  I just refuse to give a bad service.