A shocking insight...

I recently had a really shocking insight about what my spiritual health became.  Because of how brutal the assault on me was from the negative spirit, my soul in fact suffered a death, and so this healing process with Pluto has been about getting it back.  (I know this sounds far fetched to the skeptic, but to the shaman, and to those who believe in souls, this is entirely possible - I have often felt like I'm dying when I bed down, which is why sleep at night is so hard.)  While the spirit and of course the body lived, the soul died.

It's been about doing everything I can think to do to get it to come back, and its state means my readings are wonky, although they are getting better.  Ancestor spirits are coming through more clearly, I can now have clearer conversations with them when I sense a presence. 

I felt Jesus come through quite clearly in channel yesterday, and had a conversation to clear some things up.  He urges me to calm down, things will be fine, it's just that I was tortured so severely, my essence gave out.  It's up to me to use my techniques to get it back faster, but I am on the mend.

I wish I could have conversations with more people in medicine about this, but they will tell me I'm full of shit, and will want to jack up my Latuda, or switch drugs, which never works - the soul will still be in pain, and my brain will feel slow and tight, like it's in a C clamp, on a new drug, I would feel the same, having tried most of them, and I might even have terrible side effects.  This is a spiritual disorder, not psychosis, and so the only way to heal is with spiritual techniques.  I can't believe I almost got ECT - what a stupid idea, never again!

I am not even frightened by this information at this point, I am on the mend, and should be healed soon, if all goes well.  This blog is where I tell pieces of my story, because even among friends, most don't hear anything from me about this subject.  Not many among them know about this writing, I am not sure how many people are into blogs these days.  I find it's best if I not draw attention to myself with strange details about my life, people appreciate someone who doesn't complain too much, or make it all about them.

In another city, maybe... but not Toronto.

-Saraƒin

"Cat Nap Visions"...

 

Here is the flyer for one of my upcoming shows, "Cat Nap Visions" - artwork inspired by cats.  There will be no cover, I probably will be there early on in the afternoon to socialize with the other artists.

Just in case the graphic doesn't load for you - Foy House is at 92 Isabella St in Toronto, this event is on from December 13th until the 20th.  Opening reception will be on the 13th, from 3:00 until 9:00 pm.

That's all for now!

-Saraƒin

Sekhmet...

Sekhmet is getting stronger in me.

Channeling has been a bit clearer, and I feel like She is building my occult power.  I also feel this mother lion energy as I grow, where I feel more established as both the sprite that I once was, but also who I am becoming, out of the chaos of what I went through spiritually.  Jesus is very important to me as a saviour and healer, but it seems I do need to really focus on my relationship to Sekhmet to grow as a magician.  I have been neurotic sometimes about the non-Christian sources, coming from a Christian background and wondering what a priest would say, but as I explore them, new qualities that sharpen my senses have come forward, my call as a magician is real, and I must contemplate the gods while I explore this.

I sold another painting!  A friend came by and liked "Satan Is My Bitch", the "Vatican 7" piece that featured Sister Penance dominating Satan, so they bought it for $100.  So, this year wasn't a complete write-off for art sales just because I didn't move anything in galleries.  I have two more art shows coming up before the year is over - "The Candy Factory" at Super Wonder Gallery, which doubles as the Christmas Minis show, and "Cat Nap Visions" at Foy House, which is a show about felines.  (One piece that was going into "The Candy Factory" will now instead be in the Foy House show, because it features a cat, and that's the "Vatican 7" piece with the bald cat, Pope Sanctimonious, and Sister Penance.)

Further details to follow!

-Saraƒin

Delving deeper into the tarot...

I did further attunement yesterday with Sekhmet, later discovering how to better my successes with the tarot, and other divination practises.

Usually, I would just flip the cards and receive a download through vocal channeling, and that was about it.  But yesterday, I decided to gaze a little longer, scry using my active imagination skills, and suddenly, I began to witness animations within the arcana - for example, the King of Wands offering an embrace, another character holding up an object, all to suggest deeper meaning.  So, I am to study the cards a little longer, it would seem.  I am not a master of tarot knowledge, merely, I have attuned to a level of mastery with overall divination ability - I dare not read for anyone else these days, knowing I have murkiness in the unconscious I have to clean out, part of the reason I decided to bury Teresa Powers.  I will pull a card or two for others if they ask, never for hire, but my process is about perfection at this point, I may have jumped the gun, while recovery is still underway.

Active imagination is part of why crystal ball is so effective for me, but it works for other forms of divination as well.  I may have finally healed the root with all the reiki I did, I still have rough nights, but this November, I am not quite as stressed about going into the dark season.  I finally quit mushrooms - the last time I consumed them I felt nothing but spacey on them, and decided it was time to stop.  But they did help when they worked, trauma is not as bad, and I feel closer to the higher spirit.

December is supposed to be a significant month for me, so I should watch for signs.

-Saraƒin