Sometimes I still felt the presence of something nasty, sensations of being invaded - this time has since passed, now I just feel a little bit spacey. The worst part, and it's not even that bad now, is getting to sleep at night - I often need PRNs to relax. But going into the dark season this year hasn't been so bad, I feel something really solved in July, and then, after the mushrooms, a darkness in my psyche had lifted.
When I try to get to sleep, my attention can still turn inward, where I view the contents of my subconscious, and I can see imagery projected onto the mind's eye - this seems to be the mind gazing inward, something the meds quieten, but have never eliminated. It's an interesting experience for art, but if it overwhelms the conscious, it becomes distracting, and the city feels impossible to navigate. I am hoping it's just a stage of psychospiritual development and will lead to a time where the mind releases, but for now, I guess I still need Latuda.
Some reflections on my comic, again - there was a moment in time when I felt the entity taunt me over a plot narrative I was working with, coming up with something better, which became the "Ajna Project" hook in "The Jung Ones". I did the unthinkable and rewrote a section on the web of the work, preferring what the nasty spirit had come up with, agreeing it was smarter. I laugh that dark forces helped me find the hook, while God inspired me with the plot twist at the end, something I felt tied everything together. With the new twist, suddenly, all the Catholic imagery had meaning, and the storyline with the boyfriend didn't leave a gaping plothole, for the lesson became that Liz had a call to marry God as a nun, not to find love with a man. So, as awkward as my comic might be in some other ways, the twist I eventually decided on made certain elements more interesting.
There's another art show coming up soon, I have a few pieces in mind that might go in. I'll update with more information later.
-Saraƒin
