"Little Bee" is going into an art show!

I don't have all the details just yet, but my latest painting, "Little Bee", was accepted into an upcoming art show.  I am to deliver the piece next week, I will have further details soon, if anyone is interested in checking out the show.  It's called "All the Small Things", a series of smaller art pieces, at Northern Contemporary on Roncesvalles, Toronto.

I keep getting a spirit drawing of a key, so I feel drawn to do another small canvas piece with this in mind. I think it's referring to an event from my past, where I buried an old key as an intention to keep fighting to rid myself of my spiritual problems.  Now that I've succeeded with that, it might be an interesting reminder that times are better now.  So, that's probably my next painting.

My exercising continues, flights of stairs aren't quite as exhausting, long walks are my daily meditation.  I am not super toned, but I think my core has gotten stronger.  I'm trying to make floor exercises a meditation, too.  

Not bad, Taurus!

-Saraƒin

Ugh...

I just had a blood test to check on my numbers - while iron is still fine for now, cholesterol has gone up, and since my diet and exercise have greatly improved (I now eat quite lean, have lost 35 lbs over the past year, and I have continued with my long walks about the city, along with my floor exercises) I suspect it's Latuda that's doing it, since that's a known side effect.  This is depressing, because it felt like that was the only antipsychotic I took that seemed to not give me side effects.  Although SCID discredited the idea of me having a psychotic disorder, it's as though my mind's eye gets too overwhelmed without them, life in the big city is loud, and I get bombarded with the imagination.  I am certain my "condition" is a gift, but good luck convincing a psychiatrist of that - it makes me sick my health has to suffer no matter what I do, because these drugs are really hard on the body.  I beg God to help me get off them someday, if I can ever know a mind's eye that is still.  In the meantime, I must discuss this with my GP when I talk to him soon about the lab results.

Shadows are much less now, God feels closer, at least - I still feel a fatigue, a strain, and sometimes I feel like I am dying, but according to kundalini studies, it can feel strange at certain levels of development.  I just wish I knew where to find a specialist to open up to about all this - I doubt I will find one, and if I did, I would probably not be able to afford them.  Doctors in Toronto don't seem to know what kundalini is, it's insane how I can go to a crystal shop, and "Becky" knows what I'm talking about, but a doctor is clueless - this seems to be the standard.  It's problematic, because it might lead to overanalyzing a client, which has happened to me repeatedly, and was not corrected for over a decade and a half.  

If I have a gifted brain, I just hope these horrible drugs haven't iatrogenically harmed me beyond repair, and that Western ignorance didn't destroy my potential.  (I also suffer as an artist on antipsychotics, and life feels stale.)  Things seem bleak when I think about this too much -  if I am a wasted mystic, I beg not to care, it's all I can do while I try to sort everything out.

I wish I knew a better life.

-Saraƒin

New piece: "Little Bee"...

This is a piece based on spirit drawings and channeled downloads I have been getting.  I channeled something interesting about the bee being comparable, as a symbol, to an apostle, in its goodness and its role in the world.  Here, the bee is not just representing an apostle as a metaphor, but the suggestion reminds us of how important the bee's role is to this planet.  That four leaf clover with the cross is also something I have repeatedly drawn in spirit drawings, so I made this one about the bee seeking the clover, suggestive of religious imagery.  I hope I did not overdo it with the psychedelic lines - in this case, they are to suggest the bee's call to seek the clover, I like putting lines like this in my work because of the rather psychedelic visions I have had.  (I took inspiration from the St Hubert-esque Jagermeister logo for its design.) Acrylic and paint pens on 8 x 8" canvas, $200.00.

There's an art show I am going to enter it into - I need to be a bigger presence in the gallery scene again.

-Saraƒin