I kept getting a hand gesture urging me to get the flu shot, so I did so today. Though I am definitely not against vaccines, I have a nervous response to needles and other invasive feeling things that comes out of years of abuse from Dr. Errol Gaum (my sadistic childhood dentist, who is currently on trial in a class action lawsuit, for decades of abusing children in the dental chair), so because I haven't had the flu since I was a teenager, I just don't tend to bother with the flu shot. But I guess it was a good idea because of the pandemic, so I did it.
I am really hoping I can overcome my medical phobias as I get older, because it just gets worse as one ages. I hope I can avoid degrees of medical suffrage that other members of my family have known. My Mom's side has great genes, so I am counting on that - the women are tough, have great brains, and last forever. If I ever need a root canal, that will also mean I will need a general anaesthetic. There are some things I simply refuse to be awake for. (I also suspect this is an autism spectrum thing, with my phobias.)
I feel a little more chill since a few days of psilocybin capsules, so I believe it was a good choice to try them. I made the radical decision to rely on myself (mostly) for my own healing because mental health services don't tend to help me at all, and are at the very least extremely invalidating and patronizing. After that one ER doctor suggested ECT because I'm a channel... fuck. This is mental health services for emerging spirits in Toronto. <_<
Do better, CAMH.