Friday, 7 December 2018
"Kundalini Syndrome" was something I feared I had for a very long time, after psychiatry had convinced me for a while that my demon did not exist. It is when Kundalini awakens abruptly, or through an imbalanced nadi (channel) and generates painful psychological, physical, and/or emotional states. Though it's true Kundalini was a part of my journey, it was not the true cause of my suffering, but certainly what I suffered from would have aggravated any strange states Kundalini may have caused, thus it was a perfect storm situation for my unconscious.
I took Kundalini Yoga for about 2 years, until I decided it wasn't doing much more than giving me some exercise and causing me mild hyperventilation while doing Breath of Fire. A yogi I talked to suggested that this yoga only be practised by those wishing to initiate the Kundalini, not kundalites who are active, as I was. Once or twice, I came home from a yoga session, with some strange psychic states that caused me anxiety. So, I put it to rest, and later took up my own brand of Bhakti Yoga (the "Yoga of Devotion"), like the lazy Taurus I am. My practise involves consistent prayer and devotion to various gods and figures, and using channeling, tarot, and other means to obtain hidden knowledge so as to know how to proceed in growth and development. Opening to Akasha was the watershed I needed to receive true knowledge to get this wretched, son of a bitch demon to finally die - prior, I did often channel the Spirit, but without the Akashic Records open, the knowledge was limited. I was rather cut off from it.
Some of the Kundalini phenomena I have experienced includes: mudra hand gestures, kumbhaka breathing patterns, psychic phenomena, strange yogic postures and movements, stronger ties to Divinity, glossolalia, and some weird convulsions that were so intense I actually had to get an EEG scan done because doctors thought I was having seizures (my brain is fine, BTW). The way I got the stranger stuff under control was through prayer work - for some, their yoga would require extensive stretches, physical postures and breath work... for me, it was about prayer and contemplation, which is in some ways why I identify a lot with Christian mystics I have read about. St Teresa of Avila's book, "The Interior Castle", discusses the metaphor of a crystal castle with seven mansions... clearly, the castle is the soul, and the mansions are the chakras, and this is her western mystical interpretation of the same process. (It's a good read, if you can tolerate how she has a tendency to throw womankind under the bus, but as a clever woman living during the Inquisition, she had to play her cards right and act a certain way to preserve her work, and her life.)
I feel I have gotten past the treacherous, tricky stage of Ajna chakra, which can be hard to get by for some, I have read. I am not yet at Sahasrara, but instead at some point in either Upper Ajna or even higher. The demon seems to have been an effect on my Anahata, so with that blocked off, it made things pretty tricky. Now that it seems to be clearing, so is the picture getting clearer, and I get the sense things will be more of a cakewalk for me, at least when compared to the horrors of the past.
I may write more about Kundalini stuff later, as I make further progress in my growth.