Success at the art show...

Amazing news!

Two of my pieces sold at "Woman, Man, Myth and Magic" - "The 7 Directions" sold on Friday, and "The Brazen Bull" sold last night.  This is incredibly satisfying for me, and hopeful for my art career, which I was worried would be hard to get going again, after that lengthly hiatus I took.  That's 4 pieces sold in Super Wonder Gallery since I began working with them last year.  Excellent!

My Santa Muerte costume turned out better than I thought it would - a friend and I were hungry and decided to grab food at a nearby Mexican place, and I was just hoping no one found a gringo type dressed as Santa Muerte to be an offensive thing to see in a Mexican restaurant, but no one seemed to mind.  Last night was also Nuit Blance, but I decided to just head home shortly before midnight, feeling tired.

The next Super Wonder Gallery show is a Christmas time event where little pieces about any subject matter will be sold, and I have several I could include, so I'm already set for that.  I am not sure if I got into "A Nightmare on Roncesvalles" yet, but that might be my next art opening.

-Saraƒin

Experiment with the Anglican rosary...

My Anglican rosary

Recently, I went to St James Cathedral for Anglican mass, something I should do more often, but I usually work a night shift the Saturday before, and often feel like sleeping in.  But last time, I met someone who gave me an Anglican rosary, after I admitted that I had never owned one, or prayed one before.

I was practising it today, when I contemplated how one can ask Christ for Holy Communion even when not receiving communion from a priest at church, so I decided to ask that I receive Communion with every prayer on every bead of this and other rosaries and chaplets.  After trying it, I felt a strong sense of having received many blessings, and wondered if I had discovered an interesting Christian technique for prayer.  I am sure others have done the same, but if anyone reading this is interested, I recommend giving it a shot, if you are into praying rosaries.  When contemplating litanies for the same, as an example, I got that it could work for the litany itself, but not like with the rosary, which has better structure for it.  I have already done consumption of blessed alcohol for a kind of sip by sip Holy Communion ritual, and that seemed to work, so now I'm trying it with the rosary.  Jesus feels closer and closer all the time, so I must be doing something right.

My version of Christianity is experimental, so I keep trying things like this to bend the rules of what traditional Christians would recommend.  The result is eclecticism with a strong Christian foundation.

-Saraƒin

Art show this weekend!

"Woman, Man, Myth and Magic" is this weekend at The Super Wonder Gallery.  I dropped off the paintings on Sunday - it looks like there's going to be some really great stuff in this show, two friends also have pieces featured.  Of the handful of art shows I have participated in this year, this is the one I'm looking forward to the most.  I have priced "Hecate" at $200.00, "The 7 Directions" at $150.00, and "The Brazen Bull" at $400.00.  What a great way to start off October!

I finished off what remained of the mushrooms, and oddly enough, the last dose didn't really feel like much of anything.  Perhaps it's a sign I won't be needing them anymore, I have decided not to purchase another bag, at least for now.  But I think they really worked for expanding consciousness a bit more, and for helping solve levels of pain in the lower mind.  Conventional psychiatric medicine just doesn't cut it, I don't have an ear to listen to for my troubles right now that I feel would work (I'm a really unusual case that would require a specialist), so I am playing psychiatrist with myself to solve this.  As risky as that might sound to people, it's been working, because sitting around on antipsychotics did nothing but keep me miserable.

July was a turning point for shedding pain, and although August was a bit of a bitch, hope returned in September after the mushrooms experiment.

-Saraƒin

 

Leaving the Mushroom Kingdom...

I feel like I have completed my usage of mushrooms for the time being - I consumed most of the 7G bag over the course of two weeks.  There's still a bit left, but I got a strong sense I had gotten what I needed out of them.  August was just a really sad month for me, I am sorry I mused about suicide again on here, it's something I struggle with, feeling odd about life, what it's been, the uncertainty of my career, and the stresses of low income.  The mushrooms helped lift a funk of sorrow that was affecting me, and I feel my mind shifted to be a bit stronger.  Never did I go higher than just over a gram, and I felt that half a gram even was enough.  This seems to be a medicine I am sensitive to, and I don't even like the psilocybin experience, but the results were worth it.  I am still not smoking marijuana anymore, except for that one time in August where I grabbed some CBD, when I was dealing with the roaches.  I don't think I will be doing it again, I don't feel much from CBD, and I just don't find THC therapeutic at this point, although it was helping for a time, at least with lifestyle and getting back into art.

I know I could really use a vacation, but I'm trying to pad my TFSA for a while, to build up a nest egg, so I am only going to travel if a cheap opportunity comes my way.  It would certainly be very good for me, though - the monotony of my situation is getting to me, and I could stand to change my location, even if just for one week.

October looks to be a fun month ahead - with things I'm planning, it usually is.  We have plans for several parties, outings to pop up Hallowe'en bars, gallery shows, and so on.  November is often a drag for me, but October is one of my favourite months, if only it were warmer!  My Santa Muerte costume is ready, I just need to try it all on to be sure - easiest costume I have done in a while.

The omnibus remains an ongoing project, and I can't see it coming out this year, but it's still underway.  I am running low on copies of "Asylum Squad: (The Complete!) Jung Ones"... not sure if I'll reprint those, or just do the omnibus.

-Saraƒin

New piece: "Hecate"...

 

Here's my other entry for the witch themed art show coming up in October.  I'm ok with it, but I need to learn to slow down when I paint.  Being a propmaker for years meant I learned to paint fast for deadlines.  I am also super neurotic, so maybe that's another reason I rush to finish pieces.  But I like the psychedelic background, the colours, and the line work.  12 x 12", acrylics and paint pens on canvas - I might sell this for $200.00.  (There's just a little bit more line work to do on the sides.)

There is also another art show I submitted to, later in October - it's Hallowe'en themed, I submitted Medusa, here's hoping I get in!

Magic mushrooms are really helping, BTW - I have been working away at that 7G bag incrementally, and already I feel something cleaner in the mind.  Thank God for Shroomyz - now it's easy to get this medicine.

-Saraƒin

A return to the Mushroom Kingdom...

After a rather rough August, I decided to take the advice of something I felt called to do by my guides, and once again I looked into psilocybin mushrooms.  This was something I was trying to avoid, out of caution, but because in other ways I am feeling much more grounded as a subconscious, I thought I could handle them again, if I did a low dose.

Mushroom shops have popped up around the GTA, and there is one right around the corner from me.  I bought 7G of Mexican Cubensis, and decided on just under 1G for my first trip.  The results were a mild hallucinogenic response, followed by feelings of euphoria, as though something in the mind was getting clearer.  The next day, I did just over 1G, and felt a slightly more powerful reaction, where I bawled my eyes out when I felt God come through and express great love for me.

I have decided that the next time I do more will be in about a week, just to allow my system to process the medicine, but it did seem worth it.  The man at the Shroomyz store recommended this, for spacing out the trips, just to be safe.  I can't lie down when I do mushrooms, I am realizing this - it's as though I retreat into the mind, and can get very anxious.  So, I pace, which keeps everything grounded for me.  The slightly higher dose seemed to bring about finer results, so I think my new normal with mushrooms will be to do just under a gram and a half.  (I don't think microdosing was effective for my needs.)

I am a little bit sick right now - masking up, I don't know if it's COVID, could not track down a testing kit to find out, so I'm just laying low and not going out with friends.  I already feel a bit better, I don't expect it to last.

-Saraƒin

Missing a friend...

I got some extremely troubling news about a dear friend of mine yesterday:

One of my fellow comic jammers passed away on August 28th, he committed suicide.  He had moved out east for various reasons, both medical and financial, suffered a break from reality, and was not able to ground.  Friends of mine who knew him still don't know all the details of his death, but we got together yesterday for a pint to share stories about him.  We have a couple of celebrations of his life coming up.  He loved karaoke, so one will be a karaoke event... another will be a comic jam event dedicated to him.  

This is a very sad time, we believe that if he had stayed in Toronto, he might have known more supports in the community, he was rather isolated in New Brunswick.  From what I understand, he only had one family member he was regularly in contact with.  I knew he was having problems, but it sounded like he wanted his distance from others, so I didn't reach out, trying to honour this.  Now I regret it, though I'm not sure what I could have done, not being in the same province.

Rest in peace, dear friend.  I have been saying prayers for him in the hopes that it can help his soul on his journey.

-Saraƒin