Thursday, 4 February 2021

My final return to the Mushroom Kingdom...

Yesterday, I consumed another round of psilocybin - slightly more this time, but not by much.  It was a vastly different experience from the first round, but I am not going to call it a bad one, just that it was not for the faint of heart, because of the nature of what happened in the mind.  I was certainly glad I wasn't at some weird party or something, though it would have been nice to have a master shaman to guide me through this, or at least someone to hold me for the first 2 hours.  Thankfully, channel acted as my guide, helping me through the process.

It came on rather powerfully, and something felt intense about it.  I felt spaced out and anxious for a while, and I wasn't sure about what I was going through at first.  But it was as though the Higher Self was stepping forward, it felt like a barrier broken, more than it was anything remotely "psychotic".  I clutched my rosary and got under the covers as it unfolded - there was some mildly unpleasant visual psychic input, but nothing truly disturbing like spiders on the walls or anything, just strange lights and colours, like something in consciousness was adjusting.  On the phone later with my mother, I compared it to a root canal - unpleasant, but ultimately therapeutic.  It was suffering that felt worth it, once I got past that initial oddness.

I now understand that it's time to stop consuming psilocybin, so I will pass on the remainder of these mushrooms to someone else.  Today I woke to feel euphoric, and more in touch with my truest self.  There is a definite change in the mind, perhaps in my personality even, and I already see something finer about my psychic channeling, when I engage it.   Time will tell, but I do feel better.  My heart feels livelier as well.  Good to know that I only needed 2 doses.

One thing I know is that any recreational use of entheogens is a thing of the past for me, and probably a thing of the past when it comes to spiritual medicine as well.  I will continue with sober practices from this point on, as I had before, only consuming CBD to calm things when I need it, and the occasional glass of red wine, for unwinding.

-Saraƒin

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