Friday, 20 November 2020


Damn it, sinners - I was THIS close to getting those new books in my hands and in stores!   Looks like all non-essential businesses are closing again, or are at least limited, so that probably includes my printers too, who were late because they were backlogged from the last lockdown.  I will have to see with them on Monday for sure, but anyone who wants a copy may have to wait even longer.  These guys give me a good deal and are old friends so I use them - other printers would be beyond my budget for what I need made, most likely.  It will one day be out - COVID-19 screwed up so much for the art world.  Disgraceland, where I was likely going to have the launch, is also a dead venue now.  Oh dear.  Time to make like a Carmelite nun again and hunker down in my contemplation, because I have no more shifts at work for a while either.  I will probably be on CRB or EI again soon, so I am at least not concerned about money.

I went back to the Marian shrine yesterday, one more time before it gets too cold.  It's not even that warm right now, but at least above freezing for something like that.  I stayed for about 2 hours, mostly in the chapel.  I broke down and wept over what still doesn't feel right in my soul.  There's a power at that site that comes through strongly - I suddenly channeled to pray to Jesus that, in His name, I be redeemed of all sin.  (I guess I had failed to pray this away well, or maybe I just had to keep praying for it - I don't recall what I have asked with this in mind in the past.)  Shivering, I took my rosary off my wrist and prayed a round of that, making that my intention.  As I completed it, it suddenly felt much warmer, as though the temperature had gone up by about ten degrees.  Then, I got a channel that suggested my prayers were answered.  Today is much better.  So I am hoping I got a taste of a miracle at the Marian shrine, and I might now be even more on the mend.  It's been a general sense of weariness and irritation that has been less intrusive, but has still affected me.  So, I guess that was concentrated sin causing it?  Strange!  Perhaps it muddles channel making it hard to hear God when I open.  Psychic readings can be hit or miss... one I did was really off recently.

I do hope this is the end, but of course time will tell.  I am willing to keep fighting to be healthy again in mind, body and spirit.  Some days are bad, but I am good at bouncing back.  God doesn't want me to lose to my suffering.


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