Monday, 13 April 2020

Archetypes of my personality...

I talked a little bit about the persona, now I want to self-analyze a bit from what I see in myself, and describe archetypal qualities I see in my personality, as it stands.  These are kind of fun:

First off, there's a cute little girl who is the sort you'd find collecting salamanders and playing in the mud.  She likes to dress in colourful clothing sometimes and play games and do naughty things like read hidden details about people with the Akashic Records.  I was angry at her in the past, but making peace with the inner child, she is now at play and enjoys life more, and I am proud of her.  She has gone from being sad, scared, and really depressed, which made me rather awkward, to a wise child, who takes delight in many things.  This archetype is very healthy now.

Then, there's a very funny man in me.  Many have remarked that I have a masculine quality, which I guess is why some have assumed I am at least bisexual or perhaps gender queer at times.  I have always been aware of this masculinity, even as a kid, and have experimented with him through dress and attitude.  He's kind of like a heterosexual funny man with some people, and flaming gay with others... it depends on the crowd and the mood I am in.  He's either really macho, or absolutely flaming.  The gay man in me is probably why I am so into camp and gay culture, the macho man comes out at work in my blue collar job.  I suspect the reason this man is powerful is because I have been reincarnated as a man more than I have come back as a woman.

Then, there's a queen in me, a regal side, whom I am discovering now.  She's refining with time, and coming to know her power.  She's arrogant, but patient with people who aren't as bright as she is.  I would say the nun is also her to some extent, she's like a grand dame who is still maturing, and as my confidence builds, I am coming to learn more about her.  Not much else to say, except I am fascinated to see how she evolves as I heal and grow.  I would say that of the four queens of the tarot, she is most like the Queen of Cups.

Finally, the last major one that I see in me is a bitter old wise woman who is unsatisfied by the limitations of what life has been, and the letdowns she's experienced from others.  She feels she has done everything to better herself, and is waiting with jaded patience for the world to catch up with her.  She likes to comically put down things that are not interesting to her, and complain about things that younger people tend to find interesting or relevant that she does not.  Kind of like a comical "get off my lawn" type who is self aware, and doesn't want to be this way anymore.

It will be interesting to see what other archetypes step forward with time, or how these ones change.  The queen is growing, while the old lady needs to heal.  I am a proud woman with wounded pride.


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