Saturday, 14 March 2020

My current feelings on this COVID-19 situation...

Everything feels like this right now.

I was just at a local Indian restaurant for lunch, where I discussed the coronavirus with the owner after paying my bill, and we had some laughs over it.  While we agreed that it's wise that precautions be taken to ensure public health and safety, we found some of the attitudes unfortunate that we have encountered in people affected by bans and closures.  One example is the whole toilet paper hoarding thing - some are selling bags of TP on Kijiji for ridiculous prices, trying to cash in on the necessity for these items.  While I don't want to hop on the ageist, ableist bandwagon of saying "it's no big deal - it's only dangerous for the elderly and the compromised", I wish people would relax a little bit.  I, for one, refuse to live in fear, after what I have been through in other areas of my life.

Although some have been a bit peculiar in their attitudes and with all the hoarding (and also with some racism directed at the Chinese, for example), there seems to be a touch of solidarity involved in this as well, which I hope might be a great lesson from this for society.  When I was demonically possessed, I was completely alone in it - no one understood the sorrow I felt, the fear and dread that I might have to kill myself so as not to be a time bomb waiting to go off, the fact that most people brushed it off as schizophrenia and refused to understand what I was dealing with.  This situation, to me, seems more like an interesting lesson rather than something "apocalyptic"... it might, in the end, be a great teacher.  Again, I don't want to dismiss the lives of those who actually have been harmed by the pandemic, but perhaps there is a message in all of this.  I feel there's a sense of community in what is going on, rather than a loneliness, like the one I felt when I was being subjugated by something only I knew was affecting me.

Having lived through one of the worst case scenarios for a human soul and survived, I try to be as optimistic as I can with things, so I take on a sense of hopefulness that we'll figure out how to put all this behind us.  Worrying is never worth it - concern and caution are useful in keeping safe, but worry will just confuse the mind and lead to rash decisions.  I still live with anxiety from time to time, but have been able to curb a lot of it with my spiritual practice.

Hopefully the world finds a vaccine soon, that a solution is discovered - in the meantime, I'm going to wash my hands, wear gloves at work, and stay confident that there might be riches to be found in all of this.

-Saraƒin

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