Friday, 7 February 2020

One argument I came up with to suggest that my demon was real...

Thought forms were something I looked into a while ago when I was basically being brainwashed by mainstream psychiatrists into believing I wasn't dealing with a legitimate possession case.  My understanding of thought forms are that they are concentrated human thoughts or emotions that generate a kind of artificial form.  Some have explained away ghost phenomena with this argument.  I have also come to understand that the best way to defeat a negative thought form is to cease to give it attention or belief, and that this will weaken it.  So, when I believed that I had a vicious thought form, I experimented and attempted all I could to destroy it by cutting ties with any belief in it, trying to find explanations elsewhere, such as that I had had a bad kundalini awakening, or a chakra blockage from something, or anything but spirit possession.  Did it work?  Not at all.

Only when I embraced the idea that my demon was a real entity and it was up to me to remove it was it that I grew, I opened more to Spirit, and I acquired the understanding and tools to do anything about it.  Based on this logic, it is my opinion that this is a reasonable explanation to suggest that what I had here was no delusion, but instead something from a source beyond mere human understanding.  Life got more interesting, too, I had more confidence in myself (oddly enough), and I seemed to learn more about myself as a person.  I grew determined to defeat this, rather than bogged down with the fear that I would one day have to commit suicide (which is all I got out of believing in the psychiatric explanation), and something drove me to finish what I had started to fight many years before.

Though it now seems like I am still dealing with a mild aftermath which means that I still need medication to ease my mind, I am rid of a darkness that words fail to describe.  The only passages that best present the pain I endured come of the writings of some of the mystics I have read who had encounters with the diabolical.  This was horror that might have killed a weaker person easily, it's a good thing I am tough.

I am getting signs something is progressing in me again soon, or has been and may just be a bit awkward, and I am now feeling a bit more like my old self, since getting out of hospital.  The CBD seems to be healing me a little on an emotional level.  I just purchased a fancy glass pipe so that I don't have to use rolling papers, which probably have bad chemicals in the bleach.  Vapes are kind of pricey for me right now, and I don't expect to be hitting the pipe constantly, so for now that's what I'm using when I choose to inhale it.

-Saraƒin

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