"Jesus Was A Buddhist Monk"
Here's a fascinating BBC documentary I watched a while back (and shall have to watch again) which discusses the theory that Christ was the prophet Isa, survived crucifixion, and went on to be a teacher in India. This is what I have personally come to believe of the Jesus story. I don't believe in the ascension, and I believe His story was definitely embellished in the Bible, perhaps because of what religion was like at the time. I also have ideas about the Virgin Mary: that She wasn't a virgin (in the sexual sense) who was impregnated by the Holy Spirit, that She probably did have sex with Joseph to bear Jesus, and instead is "virginal" as a soul because of Her sacred power and ties to the Goddess. I hate how people associate Her power with some lame feminine purity thing like being sexually virginal and then miraculously impregnated by God - that's reductive. She is so much more than just an innocent vessel, and I know how She has opened doors for me to Divine Femininity - I recommend to all Mother Mary devotees to consider Her your doorway to this aspect of the Divine, and not just to see Her as some random saint gifted with the duty of bearing the fruit that was Jesus.
There are riches to be found in the esoteric practises of Christianity, it's a damn sad shame that it seems many of these practises and ideas were likely buried in history, and are not understood well by conventional Christian thought.