Friday, 26 April 2019

Some musings, as I seem to climb out of the Underworld...

I am not 100% sure of everything yet (I never seem to be, at least not thus far), but I think I am getting out of the Underworld phase of my initiatory crisis.  Here are some things I have recently mused about, in relation to my experiences:

-First off - the ouija board stuff... that was a doorway to a fate I would have faced, regardless of the direction my life would have taken.  I was born to be this spiritual being, and ouija was a tool to introduce me to my initiation.  So ouija boards... not evil things, just tools I don't want to bother with anymore, as I have more powerful forms of spirit communication now - vocal channeling, and spirit writing and drawing.  I think ouija board stuff can still go wrong, or at least open strange doors, but perhaps only with certain types of people - maybe types destined to work with spirituality in some way?  I see them more as neutral items now, rather than truly vile things, but one must still be cautious.

-Secondly - the visions of the Hindu gods phase... I notice that was something that came and went, and never truly resurfaced since the St. Jude invocation.  So what I gather is that Hinduism was another optional path that could have opened to help me, but when I prayed to St. Jude, I initiated a Christian path, thus I never saw or heard from Ganesha or Krishna again (even though I would go on to try working with them).  My Christian path is more "shamanic" than those of most Christians out there, but I still work with Catholic saints, angels, the Virgin Mary, and of course Christ Himself.  I see Jesus as the Sacred Masculine and Mary as the Sacred Feminine - working with both components of Divinity has helped me immensely.  "Shamanic Catholicism" is certainly not unheard of... it's just that Rome doesn't like the idea of it very much, based on my mild understanding.  Oh well.

-Next - this strange ungroundedness phase was probably a warning that the Underworld was still opened up, and it was time to move on with my initiation.  So today I concentrated my prayers on closing that door, while opening to the Upperworld.  We'll see where that takes me.  Like I said, the "mild chaos" was of absurdity, it seemed completely silly and unnecessary as lessons go, so I guess the message was "time to move on"!  In the Underworld, I seemed to destroy a demon, and I met my animal - the Cobra.  It was a brutal place where I felt like I was being sliced up, rotting with maggots, and tortured in many ways... probably this was a test of strength and endurance.  It later became comical, once Divinity intervened to help.  I guess I'll make more sense of everything later.  I do hope this is truly the end of my time in this place.

-Also - the dead demon's "field".  It seems I couldn't totally destroy it - energy can't be destroyed, right?  So I focused my attention on transforming it into something designed to serve Divinity, and that seemed to usher in a recent change of tone.  I will have to see how this, too, evolves.  "Satan" was still presenting as a sly, impish fellow, slightly Jack Nicholson-esque in character, and wouldn't seem to ever completely go away, no matter how hard I smudged or prayed.  So transformation time it was!  Now the interference is less overt.  Whatever he really was, he hated being killed by me, complaining that to be killed by a clownish goofball like me was embarrassing for him.  This overall story is so rich with comedy that I definitely think that if I do further comic work with another series, it MUST be based on aspects of my initiation.  Sister Penance may even be the protagonist, but I don't know what her story would be just yet.

My Akashic readings got virtually non-existent for a little while there, but they seem to be getting their mojo back again.  Probably they are still not perfect, but often people tell me I nail things, and premonitions have come true.  So I guess it'll just take time, practice, and further initiation.

-Saraƒin

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