Tuesday, 16 April 2019

Another update...

So I was getting slightly ungrounded again, hence the posts about the Divine playing with me.  This remaining evil field has been affecting my heart centre, a major psychic centre, which I had to figure out how to liberate.  I had been getting a lot of automatic drawings of hearts, with and without crosses in them, so I took it that my heart needed to be liberated from this, so I prayed to Christ for freedom, specifically referring to my heart centre.  I am now waiting on this, to see if there is a change.

I get really nervous when I lose groundedness, I have been there before and it is not a good place to be.  Mental institutions cannot be trusted to ground me, meds do not work on the soul, they merely tone down any phenomena in the mind, but they don't remove it.  I have been on the highest doses of the most powerful antipsychotic medications, and still I suffered greatly.  This is up to me to resolve.  I will never go back to a mental hospital again unless I am certain I am in immediate danger.  I am not in danger right now... I am just regaining my footing, before it gets out of hand.  80 mg of Latuda would be a reasonable dose if this was actually schizophrenia, but it's the soul that is fighting for sanity right now, not the brain.  Fortunately, I think it's turning around again, and I just need to take it easy and concentrate on this until it ends.  So that's why the comic has been left hanging.  When the soul demands attention, all else must be put on hold.  (I still believe I am winning the fight, though perhaps I hadn't completely won yet, like I thought I had.  I had more work to do with the Divine to stop this... I may have even further work to do.  I must play it by ear.)

The way the ungroundedness and darkness presented this time around was more silly than anything else... it was ridiculous, actually.  This suggests I have already, as I suspected, made a dent in this thing's effect on me.  This is a crazy game of trying to interpret phenomena to figure out my situation, and to understand how to proceed.  Contemplation, some meditation, and prayer (and sometimes smudge, holy water, and talismans... and channel and divination, when accurate) are my only tools.  No living person can save me but me.  I tried getting a shamanic exorcism done once, and it did nothing.  Sigh.

Oh well... I am still functioning very well.  I get out and socialize a lot while this is going on, I do my job, I'm stable mentally... the soul is just confused a bit.  I got a blessing from a bishop on Palm Sunday... I get lots of blessings from priests to help me as well.  I think I caught this early enough to be able to proceed without complications.

-Saraƒin

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