Tuesday, 5 March 2019
Group convent stay!
It will likely be four of us - me (a Catholic curious Anglican), an old friend (an Anglican curious Catholic), the Anglican Druid, and a self identified Jewish Princess (I really hope she enjoys herself there - but she truly desires to join us, so who knows).
I hope going as a group does not disrupt the solitude I like to go to sacred places for - I'd like if it doesn't result in us just sitting around playing Scrabble or something like that. Three of us are serious seekers, while the fourth I think simply looks for unique experiences. But this could be interesting regardless - the place is very beautiful, the spiritual energy is very strong there, I almost felt like I was high when I walked in, and that stayed with me for the length of the retreat.
I am still sometimes kind of upset that I don't have what it takes to become a real nun - I wish I loved poverty as much as St. Francis of Assisi did, instead of just loving self deprecating humour as much as Jeremy Hotz does. I am modest though not modest enough to be a sister (except of course for when I'm REALLY not modest, like when I wear the latex nun habit while killing demons, but that's a Quentin Tarantino kind of thing), I am foul mouthed, having been raised on a steady diet of "Derek and Clive" comedy sketches from two hippie parents. I can't stand the idea of being obedient to a potentially grouchy Mother Superior, if she expects me to toil over something I feel isn't right for me. I crave simplicity, but perhaps this would be the wrong context, considering the way I go about my religious path, versus what a conservative group of nuns would honour. Maybe if I was from another century, or in another country, it would be a good fit for me.
I still have mild worldly ambition, I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing, considering my long term spiritual goals.