Monday, 22 October 2018

Ding Dong The Devil Is Dead... I GUESS!

Last night, during a channeling and tarot session, I suddenly got the message that my "devil" was finally dead.  Today, in church, while channeling and meditating, I got the same message, reiterated again and again.  So, if that's the case, I guess that braid of sweetgrass smudge and seraphim invocation thing actually worked - if not, I'm jumping the gun with this post, but oh well.  Not like I haven't done that before.

Even though this was probably some idiot minion demon masquerading as Satan for shits and giggles, I wanted to craft something dedicated to humiliating its presence, using the name it gave.  This has been a thorn in my ass for 12+ years or so.  So dust off that old Casio and set it to autoplay, cuz I wrote a song about it!

"I Whipped Satan's Ass"
(in the style of Wesley Willis)

The Devil spoke to me through a ouija board
He attacked me using my pot habit
He raped my Svadhisthana
He made a mess of my life

[Chorus]
I whipped Satan's ass
I whipped Satan's ass
I whipped Satan's ass
I whipped Satan's ass

The Devil thought he could kill me
He was wrong to fuck with me
I made a mockery of him
I tortured him with prayer and disco music

[Chorus]
I whipped Satan's ass
I whipped Satan's ass
I whipped Satan's ass
I whipped Satan's ass

The Devil began to fade with time
He said he deserved a Darwin Award
He said he had never felt so humiliated
I said: It's ok... we all die a bit in Toronto

[Chorus]
I whipped Satan's ass
I whipped Satan's ass
I whipped Satan's ass
I whipped Satan's ass

Rock over Toronto
Rock on Ontario
City TV... everywhere!


-Saraƒin

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